Fools Fall in Love
by BrightSide of Nowhere
Summary: Fool for Love with a different ending. Buffy and Spike try to come to terms with what's going on between them and what's going on in the world, while hiding their entire bond from the ones they are close to. To make matters worse Angel revisits and sparks
1. You know you want to dance

A/N: Okay so how many of you were just waiting for Buffy and Spike to kiss during Fool For Love? Or that the outcome was slightly different. I DID! I was just watching it today and needed the ending to be different. So here I go... (some of the lines are in the original show. I own nothing of the show.)

Chapter 1- You know you want to dance

"Spike..." Buffy said as he walked towards her. His passion aroused, Spike leans in to kiss her. She backs away in horror. "What the hell are you doing?"

He grabed Buffy by the arms, his words coming in a breathless pant. "Come on. I can feel it, Slayer. You know you want to dance."

Buffy stood shocked at the words that Spike spoke. But she was more shocked by her own words to the statement. "I can't."

He looked at her, head cocked to one side, thinking about what the slayer had said. That was not the reaction that he expected. He expected to be pushed away, to be hurt by her. "What do you mean?" He said, trying his damnedest to sound mean.

"I mean that I can't." She said. He had loosened his grip and she took full advantage of it. She pulled herself away, threw the wad of money at him, and walked around him. He picked the money up and turned to find her facing him. "I can't give up that easily."

He saw the look on her face long before she said the words. He walked towards her. For every step he took, she took two away from him. But soon she was backed up against a wall, where there was no where to run from him. "That doesn't mean you don't want to." He had to hear her say it. He grabbed her wrists and pinned her there. She struggled against him, but he held tight. He leaned closer to her face and stared right into her eyes. "Say it to me slayer. Tell me you want to." _Tell me you want me. _He though, his own heart betraying him.

She stared right back into his eyes. She could hide for now, but it would be pointless. "I want to." She said as if finally defeated. _Why are vampires able to break down my defenses today? I should be stronger then this. I shouldn't want him like I do._

He loosened his grip and backed away from her. She looked shocked. "That's all I needed to hear." He said and walked away from her. A few days ago she may have followed him and hit him until he forgot what she had confessed. But that was all an act and he knew it. She sunk down to the floor of the alley and watched him leave. It was a very unusual night.

Buffy's House-

The scenes from that night flashed in her head the next morning. The words he spoke rang in her ears. She found it hard to do anything when she awoke. She had returned home later then she had anticipated, to find her mother and Dawn safe and asleep. But Buffy had no such luck. Her sleep was fitful and filled with images, thoughts, and sounds of and about Spike. And her waking mind differed none from her subconscious sleeping mind. Spike was all that Buffy could think about.

"Buffy!"

She heard Dawn yell from downstairs. Buffy was dressed in a pair of jeans and a tight white tank top, her hair laying in curls. Yet she didn't remember ever getting out of bed, or getting dressed. She shook her head, a failing attempt to wash the image of Spike from her head. She opened the door and descended down the stairs, hearing his voice ring in her ears. _You know you want to dance. _Her own mind was incapable of anything, except repeating his words and her unnerving response. _I can't. I want to. _Dawn skipped passed Buffy and into the living room, a rare occasion in itself and a confusing image to Buffy. Until she moved closer to the room and saw her friends, Willow and Tara, sitting there. Riley stood near the doorway, waiting patiently for Buffy. He smiled at her and walked over, grabbing her into a hug. The hug felt wrong to Buffy. It wasn't any different then any of the other times he had hugged or kissed her, it was just a sudden realization that it had always been wrong. _Maybe I always knew it was wrong. Maybe that's why I've never been able to love him. _Buffy shook her thoughts from her head, this time succeeding, and pressed her thoughts of Spike back to concentrate on her friends.

"Buffy, Willow taught me something!" Dawn said, more excited then she had ever been. Dawn focused on a pencil and made it float of the table.

Buffy watched Willow, as she too concentrated on the pencil. Buffy knew that she was helping Dawn. "That's great Dawn." Buffy said, sitting on the couch.

Willow looked at her friend, hearing the distant sound of being upset in the slayer's voice. "Something wrong?" Willow asked Buffy.

Buffy shook her head. "Nothing. I went to see Spike last night..." She turned her attention to Riley, who had sat beside her and was looking very hurt. "I wanted to know what happened to the slayers before me. How they lost. But there was nothing and no one to tell that story..." She paused again, this time remembering his words yet again. _Every slayer has a death wish. _Buffy cringed a little at the words. "Except for Spike, who had killed two slayers. So I went to hear his awful stories about how he killed them."

Riley looked at Buffy suspiciously. He feared that there was more to this meeting then she's saying. Something Spike said or did had made her upset, he could tell in how tense she was. "What did he say?" Riley asked her.

"Yes. I'd rather like to hear this one too." Giles said, entering her house with Xander.

Buffy looked at both men, then at Riley, Willow, Tara, and Dawn. She turned back to Giles. "The short version. He said; "we fought, I won, the end". It took a while and several gross things that I may never forget, but he finally said something that stuck. First he said that lesson one was a slayer must always reach for her weapon cause he already had his. Second was to ask the right question."

Xander looked at her. "What question?"

A faint smile surfaced. "He said the question wasn't 'How'd he'd win'. The question was 'How'd they lose'." She said.

"What's the difference?" Damn asked.

Another smile came across Buffy's face. "There's a big difference. He said that Death was a slayer's art that she makes with her hands everyday. That she loves it and fears it. He said that we were desperate to know what it's like, death that is. He said it wasn't the punch we didn't throw or the kicks we didn't land. He said every slayer had a death wish." She stopped. The rest of them sat there shocked that she remembered most of what he had told her. But she knew it was only because it was ringing in her ears, replaying in her head like a bad record player. "He said even I did. And that the only reason that I've lasted this long is because I have ties to this world... my mother, Dawn, the gang. But he told me that I'm just putting off the inevitable." She stopped, but his words continued to run in her head. She pushed them back until they were too faint to make out. Always there but not always able to be heard.

Giles looked at her, but it was Riley who spoke. "But it's Spike. He can't be right can he?"

Riley was hurt, Buffy could tell. So where the rest of them. To think that Buffy was going to die was something they weren't prepared for. They didn't want to think about it. "No." She said. "He's right." Hearts sunk and smiles faded. Xander and Giles walked over to sit down. "He knows more then I do about it. Death that is."

"But not about slayers. How can he?" Xander said.

"He's killed two." Willow said, not in either agreement with Buffy or argument with Xander, just in fact.

"He got it. He understood it. Angel did too." Buffy said, hardly wanting to bring her ex into the mix. "He use to say that you guys where the ones that kept me alive. It was, after all, Xander who saved me when I died." She smiled at him.

"Yes, that's quite true. What I don't understand is Spike's reference to loving death."

"I guess the slayer in me does. It's all that I was really made for right? Death and destruction in the non-evil ways. My ties with my family and friends are the only thing that prevents me from being totally and completely lost to slaying. Remember Kendra, who was trained to kill. She cared about nothing else until she saw that she could. And the first slayer, she told me that death's my gift."

"What did she mean?" Willow asked.

"Well I'd imagine that she meant that Buffy was to give her life for the greater good of the world." Giles said.

"Well major bonuses. Buffy's done that. So she can be normal Buffy." Willow replied, a little hyper.

"Not exactly. With Faith in prison and not on the side of good, Buffy is the only slayer the world has. She still has a duty to fight the vampires." Giles looked at Buffy. She wouldn't look at him. She knew in her heart that he was right and what it meant for him to be right.

The Magic Shop-

"Can a bloke get some help here?" Spike said, standing near a self.

"Do you have money." Giles asked, slightly irritated.

"Yes." Spike said. He handed Giles the money and list and walked toward the table that Buffy and Willow sat at. Giles retreated to the back room. "What are you doing?" He asked.

"What do you care?" Buffy said. She hated the act of being mean to him, knew that her words stung him.

"Inquiring mind wants to know if a big, bad is comin'. Got to hide my valuables." He said in reply.

"Yeah. I heard that if you weren't careful Harmony could break. She might be worth something one day." Buffy said. Willow looked up and smiled at Buffy's comment.

It was direct insult to Spike's pride and he didn't like it. Riley walked in, not receiving attention from Buffy. Spike felt a jolt of... well he didn't know... just was happy that she was paying him more attention. "Might want to keep that boy of yours inside if there is a big nasty." He said, walking behind her, grabbing the bag that sat on the counter, and walking to the door. "You wouldn't want to have to make sure he didn't get hurt." He walked out in the cool night air, smiling at the satisfaction that he would cause the two to fight. And the kicked puppy expression that the bloke had when he looked at Buffy was priceless.

Buffy hadn't realized that Riley had walked in. She was so wrapped up in the conversation with Spike that she hadn't noticed. And the words that Spike spoke stunned Riley and his way-to-common-lately hurt puppy face appeared. Buffy was sick of seeing it, sick of having to walk on glass around Riley. Ever since the Initiative had been destroyed, he had tried his damnedest to fit in with the scoobies and he was failing. Life with normal guy, Riley, wasn't all Buffy had imagined. "He's all upset that I cracked on Harmony. Don't take it seriously." Buffy said that last part with a little hint of annoyance in her voice. Riley walked over to them and sat down, the kicked puppy expression still present on his face. Buffy sighed and could hardly wait until Giles walked over. When he did, she got up, grabbed her coat and turned to leave.

Riley stood up. "Where are you going?" He asked, a little like a jealous boyfriend would act.

"Patrol." She said, turning sharply on her heels to look at him.

"I'll come with." Riley said "You shouldn't be out alone after you injury."

"I'm all better. I'll be fine."

"You still shouldn't..."

"I'll be fine Riley." Buffy said sternly, cutting him off. He sulked back into his chair and the hurt puppy look resurfaced. Buffy walked out of the store, closed the door behind her and let out a sigh of relief.

"I may have been more right then I thought." Spike said from the shadows. Buffy faced the direction of the voice, only to be met by the light of his burning cigarette. He stayed in the shadows.

"I didn't ask your thoughts." Buffy said, walking towards the graveyard.

She heard his footsteps follow behind hers. "I didn't ask yours." He said.

She turned quickly, causing him to take a few steps back in surprise. "What do you want Spike?" She said, staring him in the eye.

"You wanna dance?" He said with a smirk.

The graveyard-

Buffy fought a vampire beside Spike who fought another. Both were engaged in the fight, unable to think of anything else. Spike dusted his vampire first, not caring to take his time. He wanted to watch the slayer, watch her fight to the death with her foe. She was graceful and resourceful, something he had found out long ago. She took in the vampire's every move, countered it, and made her own. It was something that Spike enjoyed watching, it was something that Spike had thought about and seen since the last time they had talked. He replayed in his mind, not just their conversation where she had broke down, but every fight they had ever had. Remember each one with fascinating detail and arousal. He was under estimating the way that he felt about the slayer. There was much more to it then just lust. And that made him want to kill her himself. But instead he just watched. As she staked the vampire and the dust settled, he took her in once more. Her entire being had changed from when they had left the shop. Before she had stood near him, clean and wholesome. Before she was just a girl. But now, now her clothes where stained with grass and mud. Her hair was slightly messed up and her eyes was different. Now she was the slayer. She was alive, as if she had once been dead. She walked, breathed, and looked as though she was living for the first time in her life. She was exhilarated and he knew it. He knew it and he loved it. She was a woman of pure power, unlike any that he had ever met. She didn't hold anything back in the fight, she gave it her all as if that fight had been the last one she was prepared to do. She went into the battle differently then she ever had before. She knew now the chance of death. Now she fed on that chance, that fear. It excited her and made her stronger, faster, better. Spike only hoped that he was a little bit to thank for her change. "You did well slayer."

"You'd be good to remember that. In case that chip ever comes out of your head." She said in reply, sitting next to Spike on the ground.

"This chip ever comes out and I'll fight you till the death."

"Whose death?" She asked. He smiled and laughed a little. Buffy had been tense before coming here, the problems with Riley weighing heavy on her. But after that fight, she had loosened all that stress. It was easier for her if she left her baggage at the gate and let herself be free during the fight. And she cared not to think about Riley anymore. Spike hadn't answered her question and she looked at him with confusion. "Are you scared to answer Spike?"

He turned to her and smirked. "I'm just thinking slayer." He said, turning away from her.

"About what?"

"You. The way you fight." He looked back at her. "Any where that you let up long enough for me to kill you." He said, a quick cover to sound less like the bloody awful poet he use to be and more like the big bad that he was.

"Bastard." She said, hitting him in the shoulder. He didn't make a remark, but stared out across the cemetery. "You really thinking about how to kill me?"

He shook his head. "But I'm thinking about the way you fight." He said.

She looked away from him, laid back and looked up at the sky. "Why?" She asked him.

He turned to her, smiled, laid back to match her, and let out a deep breath. "What do you mean?"

"Why are you thinking about the way I fight if you aren't thinking of how to kill me."

"You're an amazing fighter Buffy. A guy could learn a thing or two from you." He said.

She smiled and turned on her side to look at him. He turned his head towards her. "Is this how it's going to be for us?"

"What do you mean slayer?"

"Hiding behind a mask of false hate. Pretending that we can't stand each other. Lying to ourselves when we around all the others."

"Yes." He said, looking back up at the sky. "There's no other choice."

She turned back on her back, looking at a plane that was blinking far away. She let a small tear slide down her cheek, carefully wiping it away without him seeing it. A few minutes later she spoke. "I didn't mean what I said about Harmony."

"Yes you did." Spike said, his eyes never turning to look at her again.


	2. Confused

A/N: (This is the whole summary that I forgot to put in the first chapter.) Fool for Love with a different ending. Buffy and Spike try to come to terms with what's going on between them and what's going on in the world, while hiding their entire bond from the ones they are close to. To make matters worse Angel revisits and sparks something else between the two, a mutual hate for the brooding vampire. Buffy must choose between what she's told is right and what her heart tells her is right. And Spike must make the most difficult choice yet, whether or not to give into the chip and his feelings. Neither knows that their choice will have an effect on the people around them. Warning character deaths. Spuffy, X/A, W/T.

Also I am terribly sorry that it has taken me this long to update.

Chapter 2- Confused

Mindlessly wondering back to his crypt, Spike cast a sideways glance at every bush that moved and every noise he heard. After a night spent with Buffy he always made sure that no vampire was lurking in the shadows with a handy stake. He swung the door open and slammed it shut. Harmony was sitting on the bed, waiting for him. "Where have you been? I've been waiting all night."

Spike almost cringed at the sound of her whiny voice and would give anything to be back with Buffy. "I told you that I had to get something."

"Where is it?"

"Where's what pet?" He asked as he looked in the fridge for a beer.

"The thing you were going to get. Where is it?" Harmony said innocently.

"Bollocks." Spike said. He had left the bag in the graveyard. "I got into a fight. Must have left it out there. No need to go get it, doesn't matter."

"Are you cheating on me?" Spike didn't answer her. Spike didn't know.

A cliff-

Rather then returning to the Magic shop, since the hour was still fairly early, she walked aimlessly around Sunnydale. And after and hour or so, she had seen the entire town. She stopped on the top of a cliff, somewhere near that outskirts of the town and as far away from the Magic Shop that she could get. With the distance between herself and Riley, she began to think more clearly. Surrounded by nothing that could be linked to him, with no reminders of how much of a 'good guy' he was, she began to think. Rethink is more like it. Unlike with Angel, Buffy never truly needed Riley. There was never time that she had to turn to him. It was a good thing, that she had been come more dependent on herself. But she was constantly having to be the person that Riley turned to. When Professor Walsh died, he turned to her. When the Initiative had fallen, he turned to her. More and more she found herself having to care for him and protect him. With Angel it was both of them that turned to the other. Each one needed the other in a certain way.

"Buffy?" The voice broke through her thoughts. It was Riley, the one man she didn't want to deal with.

"Hi." She said. He sat next to her and she looked at him. He was dressed in all black, a little like what the Initiative had assigned him to wear.

"Hi." He said in reply. "What are you doing up here?"

"Thinking." She said. She turned to him. "About the way things have been with us lately."

"I was looking for you." He said, the kicked puppy expression back. "I have something to tell you."

She looked at him strangely. It had been a while since he had been serious like he was now. The last time he was like this was when she had found out that he was a solider. "What is it?"

"The Initiative wants me back. They've started a recon in South America and they want me to join them."

"And you're going to go?" Buffy asked, trying to be hurt by it and maybe she was. Yet another guy was leaving her.

"Unless you can give me a reason to stay." He stood up as the helicopter landed. "Do you love me?" He asked her.

She looked him. It was chance in a life time to be back in the Initiative. Riley himself had said that it was all he knew how to do. And she knew there was no point in telling him she loved him is she didn't. "No." She said. He hugged her and ran towards the helicopter.

Buffy's House-

She would have slept better that night, had she not ran into Spike on her way home. Neither one said anything, both keeping the act up. Even in the quiet of the night they knew that the night's earlier events had crossed a line that they shouldn't have crossed. They knew that some thing was happening between them and it was better to stay away. But when she tried to sleep that night, all she could think about was the cheeky vampire. And their conversation. All she could think about was the feeling of disappointment that she had when he said 'Yes. There's no other choice' to her question. Something about that made her feel as if she had lost something or would lose something if she didn't fight harder. But as of now her opponent was invisible and she was unsure of how to fight it. She felt so... lost.

When Buffy woke up in the morning she felt a sense of peace. With Riley gone she was free. She had no interest in dating anyone else, she liked being free. She didn't have to hide or pretend if she was single. And she didn't need anyone else that she had to care for. Buffy walked into her bathroom and let the water run over her, washing away her problems.

The graveyard-

Dracula had called it killing. Buffy had called it destiny. Spike called it dancing. No matter what you called it, Buffy still love doing it. She'd never admit it to her friends, they were still under the impression that she saw it as a job she couldn't quit. But Buffy knew that she loved it, maybe not all of her loved it but the Slayer loved it. Buffy had come along way, being able to separate the Slayer and herself into two separate people. Buffy was a girl, young and naive, able to be walked over and hurt. But the Slayer, she was powerful and wise. She was able to kill most that came in her path and she was able to bring upon death. It was a power that Buffy felt, even when not fighting. She knew that she was different, she felt the power in her at all times. But during a fight she let all things go. She left her baggage and her problems at the gate of the graveyard, she fought each vampire like it was her last fight (thanks in part to Spike) and she felt alive. Buffy had encountered three vampires since coming to the graveyard, each one easy to bet and not worth the effort. They would have most likely stayed out past dawn and fried had she not come along. Vampires varied, some where smart and others were dumb. But Buffy defeated all that came near her. Once she thought she knew the secret, that she had finally become the most powerful slayer and unbeatable. Instead she found that she had weaknesses and a supposed death wish. If she hadn't of gone to Spike that night, if he hadn't of told her his story, she could be dead. She would have gone on thinking that she was invincible and eventually she would have slipped up. Then that would have been the end of her, the death she had brought for so long would finally consume her. _If it hadn't been for Spike. Spike. I can't understand why I don't hate him like I should. I guess I never did hate him. Somehow I think I've always know that it was nothing but an act._

"Watch it slayer."

Buffy woke from there thoughts to see Spike in front of her. She had walked into him. "Sorry." She said below her breath. She was tired from the fight, from the thoughts of Spike, and all her friends' under-their-breath comments about another guy leaving her. All she cared to do was sleep for days. She kept walking past him without another look. Since the night he told her there was nothing they could do but act, she didn't care to talk to him. She had practically told him that she didn't hate him, and he had turned her away.

"Where you going slayer?"

She turned to face him and saw that he was closer to her then she thought. "Home. I'm tired and upset."

"I heard Captain Cardboard left. Sorry to hear. Makes any difference you tow didn't seem right together."

"I didn't ask your opinion."

"You were all fed up with him. What's got you so upset about his leavin'? I say it's about time he learned there was nothing for him here."

Buffy watched Spike sit down on the ground, back propped up against a tombstone. She hast across from him. "It's isn't who's leaving. It's that he is leaving."

"Don't get you love."

"I'm sick of people leaving me when things get tough." She stood up and walked away. "I don't want to talk about this."

Spike ran and cut her off, staring into her eyes. She went to side step him but he grabbed her arms and pulled her closer to them. "They can't handle ya slayer. Peaches couldn't resist you, Captain Cardboard couldn't handle you. They don't deserve ya if they could leave."

Buffy stared at him with a little bit of shock in her eyes. But she broke away from him just the same. "Goodnight Spike." She said coldly. She walked out of the graveyard, leaving him to stand there. After a while he walked a way, still thinking about his own words to Buffy. He opened the crypt door and looked around. Harmony and all her things where gone. Spike feel onto the bed and stared at the ceiling, thinking about the slayer.

Buffy's House-

Several weeks had passed since Buffy had last talk to Spike. But her life was changing and she knew it. Buffy had this feeling, somewhere in the pit of her stomach, that something bad was about to happen. It was only a matter of time. Until that happened, Sunnydale had become rather dull. Buffy hardly had to patrol. In Buffy's personal opinion when things were dull it usually meant that something bad was out there and was bad enough to scare the little creatures of the night away. Giles had insisted that Buffy patrol instead of hanging out at the Bronze. Buffy walked into the graveyard with a little bit of fear. She couldn't focus on anything except for Spike. Although it had been several weeks since the two had talked or seen each other, she still thought about him. Now, here in the graveyard, she feared running into him. Of feeling confused and mixed up around him. He said all the right things, he got inside her head and made her feel better. And that was one of the things that made her so nervous around him. Her state of confusion only grew when she was around him. But Spike was no where to be seen and neither was any other vampire. Buffy decided that if she hurried she make it back to the Bronze. She walked towards the exit of the graveyard where she was cut off by Spike.

"Not going to stop by? Maybe talk a bit." Spike said with a smirk.

"No Spike. Not tonight." She walked by him.

He grabbed her by the arm and turned her around to face him. "I haven't seen you in months. Ya don't miss me any?"

"What do you want?" She said coldly.

Spike let her go and smirked. "Well I thought that was obvious." He said, moving closer to her. "I want to know what's going on with you."

"Its been quiet. There's nothing to come to the graveyard for."

Spike looked hurt that she didn't consider him someone to see. "Right slayer. Well head off to Bronze, there's nothing here for you." He turned away from her and walked into his crypt.

Buffy waited until he had closed the door. Then she walked over to the door and kicked it in. She grabbed him by the neck and held him up against the wall. "What the hell's your problem?"

"What do you mean?"

"What's your problem? You've been nothing but an ass to me since the day Riley left."

"I wasn't being an ass slayer. Just statin' a fact love. If they left you..." He looked into her eyes and smiled. "They didn't deserve you."

"Who are you to pass judgment in my life?"

He ripped away from her and glared at her. "Not judging love. Just sayin'. Trying to cheer you up was all. Sorry."

She sunk to the floor and started crying. "You think I don't think about it? Why they say that love me but they can just leave me. That I sudden realized that I have no one."

Spike walked over to her and sat next to her. "You've got your mum and your kid sister. You got the scoobies and that bloody watcher of yours."

"I know." She said. "And I love them all. But I have no guy that I love, no one that I can see myself loving for the rest of my life. No one that will love me for the rest of their life."

"You'll find him." Spike told her. "You're just not looking in the right place."

"What do you mean?" Buffy said.

Spike took his hand and wiped her tears away. "You aren't normal Buffy. Don't try to be."

he looked at him with a strange look. "What?"

"What'd Angelus say to ya when he left?" She looked at him strangely. "Told you he wanted to ya to have a normal life." She nodded. "You know you can't. A normal life isn't part of the job description."

He was close to her face, telling her everything that she wanted to hear. The thing was he wasn't saying it to make her feel better, he honestly meant it. "You're the first person..." She scooted closer to him and looked right in his eyes. "Who has ever called it a job." He smiled at her and she moved closer. "Everyone else calls it a destiny."

"I know." He said, his passion getting the best of him. He leaned in to kiss her. The last time he tried to kiss her she had pulled away. But now she let his lips touch hers. It didn't last very long before she pulled away. Spike almost couldn't believe that he had kissed her. Buffy watched him lean in, she knew he wanted to kiss her. But she made no attempt to pull away. Only after his lips had touched hers did it occur to her that this was wrong. She felt confused around him, he said all the right things, and she thought about him all the time. And she didn't hate him any where near as much as she pretended that she did. But kissing him was not okay. She felt something, but she didn't feel anything strong enough to kiss him. She pulled away and stood up in one quick movement. And with that she was headed to the door "Buffy!" Spike yelled after her. It was only an echo when it reached her, she was a long way away from him.

He let her go. There was no use in fighting to keep her somewhere that she didn't want to be. That's what he liked about her. He liked how strong she was. She didn't need him to tip-toe around her. He could be raw and honest around her. Sometimes he said things that would hurt her, sometimes she did the same. But both of them were strong enough to take it. Spike closed the door to his crypt and fell back onto his bed. Thoughts of the slayer were on his mind that night.

Buffy's House-

She fell into her bed and stared at the window. She was lost, confused, and a little turned on. She had been so close to Spike that she was no longer able to hide from herself how she felt. She wanted him. But she could never let him know that. To do that would open a door, a door that opened when Angel walked into her life and a door that closed when he walked away from her. She couldn't bare to think about what her friends or her family would think about her secret lust for Spike. She didn't even dare to be clean and tell them that she didn't hate him like she pretended. But Spike may have had a point. Neither one had a choice except for to hate each other. Things would get bad fast if they ever changed. Buffy fell into another fitful sleep, waking sometimes to think that Spike was actually there in her room. Buffy moaned as the dawn's rays hit her and she knew that morning had come all to soon. But as soon as she woke, a surprise waited for her in the chair in her room. Spike was sitting there, asleep.


	3. When witches try to help there’s alwa

Chapter 3- When witches try to help... there's always trouble to come

"What that hell are you doing here?" Buffy said, covering herself up.

"I had to talk to ya. I knew that you wouldn't come by and see me."

"I have good reason to. Now will you please leave?"

"Nope. See I have ya slayer. You aren't going to get up so you'll just there and listen to what I have to say." Spike smiled at her.

Buffy didn't want to talk to Spike. But she didn't care if she had to listen to him. "Fine. What do you have to say Spike?"

Spike looked right at her. "I'm sorry." He waited for to her respond. When she didn't he decided to go on. "Look slayer I'm not going to lie to ya anymore. I'm not going to act like I don't care. You want to know the truth about all this? I can't tell you what's going on or how I feel about ya. All I can tell ya is that I care about ya. That's the best that I can do for now." He got up and walked out the door.

Buffy yelled at him. "Stop."

Spike reemerged at her door. "Yeah Slayer."

"I'm confused to. But I do care about you." Spike smiled and walked out the door.

The Park-

Willow and Buffy were walking in a park. The sun was shining and Buffy was smiling. It had been such a long time since Buffy had spent any time alone with Willow. She was finally happy to talk to someone who would listen to her. "I feel so confused."

"About what? Riley?"

"No."

Willow stopped and looked at her. "Do you have a new love interest that I don't know about?"

"No." Buffy said sitting down. "At least I don't think so."

Willow gave her a confused look. "What do you mean?"

Buffy looked a little uneasy. "Will you promise not to freak out and not to tell anyone?"

"Of course Buffy." Willow said as she sat down.

"All right." Buffy let out a deep breath. "There's more to that night with Spike then I told you about."

"What? Did he hurt you?" Willow said, becoming mad.

Buffy placed a hand on Willow's knee, a friendly gesture to calm her. "No. He can't remember?"

"Right." Willow said, looking embarrassed.

"Although you might wish he had after I tell you this."

"Come on Buffy. I am your best friend, there is nothing that you can't tell me." Willow said reassuring her.

Buffy sighed. "Spike leaned into kiss me at one point. I back away, asked him what the hell he was doing. Then he said 'come on, I can feel it slayer. You know you want to dance'. I was a little bit shocked.

Willow's eyes had been wide since she said Spike had tried to kiss her. "What did you say?"

"I told him that I couldn't. Then I threw the money and went to leave. But I found myself turning around and then having him face me. I told him that I couldn't give up that easily."

"You mean that you would give up to him?" Willow said, shocked.

Buffy looked at her. "You promised not to freak and not to say anything. But I am no where near done. He walked towards me until he had me pinned against the wall. He said 'That doesn't mean you don't want to'. I knew then that he wanted me to admit that I wanted to, maybe even to admit that I wanted him."

"Do or did you?" Willow asked.

"Want him?" Buffy asked in response to the question. Willow nodded. "Yes, I guess I do. So I admitted that I wanted to but I knew that I couldn't. He told me that was all he needed and he left. Any other day I would have ran after him and beat him until he forgot or swore that he would not tell of my confession. Instead I just let him go."

"So you want Spike?" Willow said in shock.

"Yes. I could feel the lust between us, I didn't need to deny that I couldn't feel it. He could tell that I could. Anyways that day that I told you guys about what Spike had said, or at least the much needed edited version, all I could think about was him. His words kept replaying in my head and nothing I could do would make them stop. It was strange. That day was the first time that my eyes where open and I really saw how wrong Riley was for me. That night at the Magic Shop, when I left to patrol, Spike was waiting for me. I asked him what he wanted and he asked me if I wanted to dance. We fought two vampires, but he dusted his first to watch me fight. After that we talked a for a little while then I asked him something that I guess I should regret."

Willow was intrigued by now. "What?"

"I asked him if this was how it was going to be for us. He didn't know what I meant. So I explained saying that we were hiding behind a mask of false hate, pretending that we can't stand each other, lying to ourselves when we around others."

"You don't have to lie around me." Willow said in defense. Buffy shot her a look. "Okay so maybe I would have been judgmental, but not if you tell me like this. Anyways continue."

"Okay." Buffy said. "So I told him that I didn't mean what I said about Harmony. He just said that I did. I was upset by then from what he had said. I didn't like having to lie about how I felt about him. I'd rather you guys think that I liked him then hate him, cause I am no where near hating him. When Riley left he found me in the graveyard. Or rather I ran into him. And pretty soon I was telling him that it wasn't who was leaving, but rather it was that he was leaving. That I was sick of the people leaving when things get tough. He told me that they couldn't handle me and that they didn't deserve me if they could leave. It may be one of the sweetest things anyone had ever said to me. But I still told him goodnight coldly and walked away. I didn't know how to handle how I felt when he said all those nice things to cheer me up. I just couldn't deal with it."

"Go on." Willow said, more wrapped up in the story then before.

"After several weeks of not seeing him I ran into him again. I asked him coldly what he wanted, determined not to let him get under my skin again. He got up close and asked me what was going on with me. I said it was quiet and there was nothing for me in the graveyard. I didn't mean to hurt him, I didn't even think about it until he mumbled to go back to the Bronze, that there was nothing there for me. The way he mumbled it and the way he just walked away and into his crypt, it was different. He had honestly been hurt that I hadn't come to see him. So I did the only thing I knew how to do when Spike was hiding something from me. I went into his crypt, grabbed him by the neck and slammed him against the wall. I asked him what the hell his problem was, since he was being as ass to me since Riley left. He said that he was just stating a fact. I asked him when he had the right to judge my life. He finally admitted that he was just trying to cheer me up, although I knew that he meant what he had said. So I broke down crying, saying that I knew it and I thought about it. I knew I had no one."

"But you..."

Buffy cut Willow off. "He said I had you guys, my family. I knew that but I meant someone that I could love for the rest of my life. I had no guy like that, who I could love and who would love me for the rest of our lives. Then Spike said something that cut me to the bone and it creeps me out to think about it. He told me that I wasn't looking in the right place. I wasn't normal and I shouldn't try to be."

"But you are normal." Willow said.

"I'm not. How many girls our age do you know that spend most of their time in a graveyard? Or that could beat any boy in a fight that ever came anywhere near her?"

Willow looked down. "I know. But that's something that you can't help. Other then that you are normal."

"But that is a huge part of my life Will. I have you guys, it makes me fit in somewhere. But when it comes down to it, I am still way weirder then you."

"Lesbian Witch." Willow said pointing to herself.

"Vampire loving slayer." Buffy said.

Willow laughed. "Got me beat. Keep going, what did you say?"

"He said that Angel had left me because he wanted me to have a normal life, but that wasn't part of my job. I was freaked. First he meant was he was saying, not just to cheer me up. And second he was the first person to call it a job. Everyone else sees it as a destiny. So then he kissed me."

"WHAT!" Willow yelled.

Buffy shot her a look. "You said you wouldn't freak."

"That was before you told me that Spike kissed you."

"Be quiet." Buffy said, casting glances to make sure that no one they knew was near them. "I ran away after his lip touched mine. I was freaked. But what's worse is when I woke up, he was in my room, asleep in the chair."

"Are you serious?" Willow said. "What did he want?"

"To tell me that he had crypto-feelings too. But that he cared. So I told him the feeling was mutual."

"You're serious?" Willow said. Buffy looked at her with a face that screamed being serious. "Wow." Willow said. "Wow. Spike kissed you and know you're saying that you might like him. You know as in leading to where things went with Angel?"

"I don't know." Buffy said. "I don't think I could ever fall in love with Spike. He doesn't have a soul and that chip ever came out he would kill me."

"But you could like him? You could be with him?" Willow said, slightly freaked out.

"Yes. I could." Buffy said, extremely serious. "I don't know what to do Willow." Buffy said, suddenly in tears. She laid her head down on the witch's lap.

Willow stroked Buffy's hair as the slayer cried on her lap. She felt bad for her. After everything that had happened with Angel, she wanted a normal guy. Willow really thought that she had a chance with Riley. But the more and more she saw that they weren't right. But Spike? Spike was everything that Angel wasn't. He was evil, he was mean, he was a smart-ass. But he loved, that was for sure. She had been there when he cried over Drucilla and stole both her and Xander to do the love spell. She saw first hand that he could love and, although she hated to admit it, she saw that he loved Buffy. "He can love you." She said, causing Buffy to sit up.

Buffy looked at Willow after her random comment. "What?"

"He can love. He did before with Drucilla, remember me with the love spell. I saw how much he loved her and how he would do anything for her, like come back here. And I can tell that he loves you."

"Are you saying..." Buffy looked shocked.

"I'm not saying anything. And if anyone asks I know nothing."

Buffy looked at her and hugged her. "Thank you Will."

"Hey no problem. Now I want to go see Tara. I have this feeling that she needs to know how I feel."

"Then go tell her girl." Buffy said. She watched as Willow ran off to find her lover. Buffy smiled as the sun shined down on her. It was nice, but Buffy knew that she didn't belong to the light.

Tara's Dorm-

Willow walked in and grabbed her lover into a hug. "Hello." She said to Tara.

Tara smiled at her. "Hi. What's going on?"

"I love you. If you didn't know that before I am telling you now. I love you." Willow said with a smile.

Tara was smiling, the happiest that she had ever been. "I love you too." Willow kissed her lover. After several minutes of making out she told her lover something. "We need to do a spell."

"What kind of spell?" Her lover asked, seeing the intensity in the red-head's eyes.

"A spell to make two people see what they truly feel. To help them see that what they want." Willow said with a smile.

Spike's Crypt-

Buffy knocked this time and walked in when he answered the door. It was weird between them and they both felt it. She looked at him and couldn't speak. It was as if she was seeing him for the first time. He was handsome and he looked at her with caring eyes. She had never noticed before. "Hi." She said.

"What do you want slayer?" He said coldly.

She knew it was out of habit, the way that he talked to her. She saw how he felt sorry after he said it. But she smiled at him and looked him dead in the eye. "You want to dance?" His eyes lit up.

Both of them fought the vampires as if their life depended on it. They were both intent on the battle, each one feeling the passion and heat from the other as they fought.

Back at Tara's-

Willow and Tara were chanting something. Willow had a picture of Buffy and a makeshift doll of Spike, a black leather jacket and some white yarn for hair. It had a smiley face with fangs on it. Both Tara and Willow were chanting as a blue light came and surrounded them and the images of Buffy and Spike.

The graveyard-

Both had successfully staked their vampires. But before they knew what was going on, a blue light surrounded them and knocked them down. Spike was the first to recover and he walked over to help Buffy up. Her head was bleeding a little so he lead her to the crypt and got bandages for her head. He felt a little weird, but he let it slide as he bandaged Buffy up. When he was done he went to walk way but she grabbed his arm. She stood up as he turned to her. "What slayer? I'm sorry for helpin' ya. I know all to well how bad ya take it when someone tries to help ya. Or maybe it's just me..."

"Shut up Spike." She said interrupting him. He looked at her strangely. She leaned in and kissed him. It wasn't like the other kiss. This kiss was filled with passion. Spike wrapped his arms around her, letting her search his mouth with her tongue. She tasted great, more then he ever imagined. He became wrapped up in her kiss, so much that he almost forgot to think about why she was kissing him.

He broke away from the kiss and instantly missed her mouth on his. He backed away more, the temptation to continue that kiss was far to great if they were close. "What's going on slayer?"

"I don't know. It might be a spell, you know the blue light." She said breathless.

His head sunk low. Of course it was a spell. She may have admitted to caring for him, but to like him or dare he say love him was asking to much. "Right slayer. So who would put a spell on ya to make you kiss me?"

"Willow." Buffy said with a little bit of anger in her eyes.

"Why would Red..." He was cut off by Buffy grabbing his hand and dragging him out the door.

The dorm-

Buffy and Spike charged into the room just after Tara and Willow had put the last of the spell stuff away. "I told you this was a bad idea." Tara said.

Buffy walked right over to Willow. "Reverse what you did." She said sternly.

"I still don't see what Red's got to do with you..." He stopped. He didn't know if Buffy wanted everyone to know about what had been going on. "Getting hurt." He said, hoping that the two would see the bandage on her head.

"Reverse it Willow." Buffy said.

"I can't." Willow said calmly. "It has not way to be reversed."

Spike looked shocked. "What did you do to us?"

"It's a spell that lets you see what you want." Tara said. "What you desire."

"What you truly feel." Willow said. She looked from Buffy to Spike. "And it has to wear off. You got until the sun sets in..." She looked at the clock. "Five hours. You have five hours to say what you want you feel or do what you feel and then be able to blame it on me and my troublesome spells. Now get out, me and Tara would like to be left alone." She looked at Tara with lust in her eyes. Buffy grabbed Spike again and they left.

Spike's Crypt-

The both fell through the door kissing. Buffy pushed his jacket off his shoulders and kissed him harder. He reached down and broke away long enough to take her shirt off. She removed his and then kissed his chest, moving back up to his neck and then back to his lips. Both fell into his bed.

Many times I've tried to tell you  
Many times I've cried alone  
Always I'm surprised how well you  
Cut my feelings to the bone

Don't want to leave you really  
I've invested too much time  
To give you up that easy  
To the doubts that complicate your mind

The dorm-

Willow walked over to the bed that Tara was laying in and kissed her. She sat up and let Tara remove her top. They kissed again.

__

We Belong to the light  
We Belong to the thunder  
We Belong to the sound of the words  
We've both fallen under  
Whatever we deny or embrace  
For worse or for better  
We Belong, We Belong  
We Belong together

Spike's Crypt-

Spike kissed Buffy's neck and then moved up to her lips where he kissed her passionately. She smiled and flipped him over until she was on top of him. She trailed kisses down his chest and up to his neck.

__

Maybe it's a sign of weakness  
When I don't know what to say  
Maybe I just wouldn't know  
What to do with my strength anyway  
Have we become a habit  
Do we distort the facts  
Now there's no looking forward  
Now there's no turning back  
When you say

From the shadow of the crypt someone watched the two. He was raging mad, not knowing of the spell and not caring. He held himself back as he watched Spike and Buffy kiss. He walked away when they were completely naked. He knew that there was no way he could hold himself back if he saw Buffy writhing under Spike.

__

We Belong to the light  
We Belong to the thunder  
We Belong to the sound of the words  
We've both fallen under  
Whatever we deny or embrace  
For worse or for better  
We Belong, We Belong  
We Belong together

The dorm-

Willow and Tara had fallen asleep in each other's arms. The moon shined on them from a window, making both seem like Angel's.

Spike's crypt-

Buffy lay in Spike's arms. He sat there watching her sleep, knowing that when she awoke at dawn she would leave. He knew that without the spell she would have never slept with him. And he couldn't bare it that dawn was coming.

Close your eyes and try to sleep now  
Close your eyes and try to dream  
Clear your mind and do your best  
To try and wash the palette clean  
We can't begin to know it  
How much we really care  
I hear your voice inside me  
I see your face everywhere  
Still you say

The dorm-

There was a faint knock on the door. Willow, who had always been a light sleeper, heard it. She got up silently, careful not to wake her lover. She opened the door and gasped. Tara shot up in her bed, but she didn't know what was going on. Willow looked at the man in her door. "Angel!" She said shocked.

Spike's crypt-

Spike had finally fallen asleep with Buffy in his arms. They both slept soundly, neither one ready for what was to come. Neither one was prepared for the consequences of the spell or the brooding vampire that came to town with horrible news.

__

We Belong to the light  
We Belong to the thunder  
We Belong to the sound of the words  
We've both fallen under  
Whatever we deny or embrace  
For worse or for better  
We Belong, We Belong  
We Belong together

A/N:

The song is We Belong by Pat Benatar. There is going to be a few more songs in this story including; Def Leppard, Motley Crue, Poison, and Lita Ford. I know that's a lot, but I feel that songs are a great way to express emotion. The only thing that I would change about this song was to change it to We Belong to the darkness... it would be more Spuffy. But I couldn't change the song so I left it as is.


	4. Trouble's Here

Chapter 4- Trouble's Here

"What are you doing here?" Willow asked Angel as he walked into the room.

"I think the better question is what is Buffy doing with Spike?" He said, his eyes staring a hole through Willow.

Willow had a new hate for Angel since he left Buffy. She remembered how it was when he told her that he wasn't taking her to prom and that he was leaving after they defeated the mayor. She had cried on Willow's lap and Willow hated Angel ever since then. "What are you doing here Angel?" She said coldly, making sure that he knew she wouldn't give any information away.

"I have news for Buffy. Something bad is coming." He said in his usual over-dramatic voice.

"Well leave a message with Giles and go home." Willow said even meaner than she meant to.

Angel looked at the witch. She was tougher then she use to be, it was obviously the magick in her. She also still held a grudge against him, or maybe she was holding that grudge so that Buffy would think she hated him. Then Buffy would send him away. "I know what you are doing." He said in his other common voice, the 'I know everything' voice.

"Really. Enlighten me." Willow said.

"You are pretending that you hate me so that Buffy will send me away. You are supportive of whatever she and Spike have."

"You think that?" She said. He nodded. "You have no idea why I hate you. First, Buffy hates you enough as it is. I don't think she would care if I did. Two, yes I am supportive of them but that isn't the reason I don't like you. I don't like you because I was there when you told her that you were leaving her. She cried on my lap and told me that she felt like dying. I was there holding her when she told me that she felt like she couldn't breath. What gave you that right? To just throw her away like you never loved her. And what's worse is that you keep coming back, making sure that she still remembers you and that she is still suffering while you are gone."

"It's not like that Willow. You don't understand." He said, hurt and surprised at Willow standing up to him.

"Really? Then how is it? Cause every time you show up you screw things up for her. It's bad enough that you left her, but to keep showing up after and then leaving again... it's wrong. It's like you ripped her heart out and then you keep coming back for more organs. So just tell Giles what's going on and leave. She doesn't need to see you."

"Right cause that worked out so well before." He said. "I'm glad that you are sticking up for her but I have to see her this time."

"Fine, but I warned you." Willow said. Angel walked out of the door with his leather coat billowing. Willow looked back at Tara, both knowing that trouble was coming.

Spike's crypt-

Buffy woke up in the arms of Spike. She immediately jumped up and rushed around the room trying to find her clothes. Spike sat up in the bed and watched her. "You okay love?" He said when she stopped in the middle of the room.

Buffy just looked around for a minute until what she had done really sunk in. "I slept with you." She finally said.Spike couldn't tell if she was disgusted or if she was happy. She walked, talked and showed no emotion. He stayed silent, not wanting to say anything that could get him staked. "I slept with you." She said again.

This time he knew what it was that had her acting strange. She was in shock. She couldn't believe that she had let her defenses down like that. "It's all right slayer. I won't tell anyone."

She looked at him, feeling slightly bad that she didn't want him to tell anyone. But she couldn't bear to tell him that she didn't care. She did care about what others would think. Willow was one thing, but her mom and sister, Giles, or Xander where not going to be that supportive. "I have to go." She said, grabbing her coat and walking towards the door.

He caught up with her and blocked her way out. "You can blame it on Red's spell. I'll even take the blame."

"Why?" She asked him.

"Cause I don't care what they think of me and I don't want to see you so upset." He said.

Buffy looked into his eyes and could see that he really cared about her. "It's fine Spike. Let's just no bring it up. I have to get home."

Spike was a little upset, but he didn't care for her to see it. "Right slayer. Well off you go." He said and moved out of her way. She left and suddenly the crypt felt really empty.

The Magic Shop-

Buffy walked in an hour before she had to patrol. Giles was sitting at a table talking to someone. She stopped dead in hr tracks when she looked at who Giles was talking to. "Angel." She said under her breath. She hadn't seen Angel since he showed up beating the shit out of Riley. And with everything that had been going on with her and Spike, she had a lot to hide from him.

"Buffy." Giles said, seeing the blonde standing near the door in shock. "I'm glad you are hear. Angel has some..."

Buffy regained her composer and walked toward the back door that lead to the training room. "Come with me." She said to Angel. He got up and followed her.

The training room-

Buffy walked into the room, Angel close behind her. Nothing was said between them at that moment. It was obvious on Angel's face that something was bothering him, more then just the dire news he usually brought. "Why are you here?" Buffy asked him.

"Cordelia had a vision." He started, calmly. "She said you were in a lot of danger. That she could feel something coming after you, some great power, and that you wouldn't live through it."

Buffy took in his words carefully, showing no emotion on her face. "Thank you for telling me." She said. "I'll have Giles work on it."

He nodded at her, but she had turned from him. Willow's words rang through his head. _And what's worse is that you keep coming back, making sure that she still remembers you and that she is still suffering while you are gone. _He could tell that Buffy was upset about something, but he wasn't sure if it was him. "Is there something wrong? It's nothing that you can't handle." He said.

She turned on her heels and looked right at him. "No. It's isn't that." She couldn't exactly tell was it was. She felt this gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach. But which vampire was responsible for it.

He moved closer to her and place his hand on her shoulder. "Then what's wrong?" He asked.

She moved away from his touch. "Nothing." She said.

His eyes become filled with anger. It was Spike. "It's Spike." He said in almost a growl.

She turned fast and looked him dead in the eyes. "What does Spike have to do with me?"

"You tell me. When I followed your scent upon coming here, I saw you and him together." He was upset.

She looked at him, anger in her eyes. "Damn you Angel!" She said. "How dare you come to Sunnydale and spy on me! What gives you that right?" He went to answer her but she cut him off. "I don't want to hear it." She said, running out of the training room and out of the Magic Box.

Spike's Crypt-

Angel walked through the graveyard, intent on making Spike pay for daring to touch his girl. He kicked in the door of Spike's crypt. Spike jumped up and was ready to fight. His eyes got wide when he saw Angel.

"Peaches?" He said.

Angel didn't answer him. He just lunged at Spike. The two were fighting soon, each taking equal amounts of punches. But neither one of them were winning. Spike kicked him and sent Angel flying towards the door. "Stay away from Buffy." Angel growled.

"She isn't yours anymore Peaches. You're the genius who left her." Spike said coldly.

"You think you give her what she needs? Or more so what she wants?" Spike didn't answer Angel. "It's amusing." He said with a chuckle. "You always did get my seconds." Spike had heard enough. He sent a punch to his face, but Angel easily ducked. "They always come back to me and that's what pisses you off. You know that she will always love me more."

Spike had heard enough. "Get out." He growled. Angel backed away and left, leather coat billowing behind him.

Spike's crypt-

She heard him arrive downstairs and couldn't help but talk to him. Buffy had many weaknesses and Angel was one of them. But their conversation instantly turned into an argument. So she ran out of the house and headed straight to Spike's crypt. Thoughts swirled in her head, but mostly she thought about how much she hated Angel. Although she would always love him, she hated him. Hated the way that he returned and thought that he knew what she needed. She walked into Spike's crypt.

He looked surprised to see her there. "Thought you'd be off with Peaches."

Buffy hit the wall, her hand going through it. She looked up at Spike's surprised look. "He makes me so..."

"Mad!" He said, coming over to her and helping her get out of the wall.

"Yes." She said, pulling out. Spike stood behind her. Suddenly she jerked out, falling backwards onto Spike. Both hit the floor. Buffy rolled off of him laughing. "I shouldn't let him effect me like that."

"I shouldn't listen to anything that ponce says." He said.

"It's not like he has any right to tell me how to live my life." Buffy said.

"It's not like I choose who I fall for." Spike said.

Up until he said that Buffy was in her own world. But she quickly snapped out of it when she heard Spike. She turned her head and sat up. "What?" She asked.

Spike didn't know what to say. He had been so wrapped up in his thoughts and anger that he had forgotten she was there. He knew what he said, what he meant, and how he felt. But she'd run from him if he told her, he knew she would. "Nothing slayer." He said getting up and walking away.

Buffy got up and followed him. "What did you mean by that?"

"Nothing slayer." He said again.

She knew what he had said. She knew what it meant. She just had to hear it. "Tell me Spike." She said.

"Fine." He said, suddenly turning around. "I love ya. I don't know how or why but I do." He said irritated.

She smiled and turned to leave. "That's all I needed to hear." She said, walking out but stopping at the door.

"Buffy!"

She heard Spike yell at her and she smiled. The door swung open and suddenly they were face to face. "Yeah?"

He smirked. "Stay with me." He said in a low whisper.

She stepped back through the door and he closed it behind her. "I can't." She said.

He stepped closer to her, suddenly trapping her with her back against the wall. "That doesn't mean you don't want to." Something about this was familiar. "Tell me you want me." He said in a low, seductive voice.

She kissed him, a deep and passionate kiss. Breathless she spoke. "I want you."

"You can't blame this on Red." He said.

"I know." She said. He leaned into kiss her and she kissed him back.

A/N: I've had this chapter on my computer for so long, that I finally realized that I have used most of my ideas on Reckless Surrender. So I am going to end this chapter. There's so more Angel coming up and a surprising character death. (Don't worry readers of Reckless... it's not going to be the same person)


	5. Are We Dating?

A/N: To Anyanka0705- I know that now. I'm aware that I got it out of order, but when you write your chapters at 2 in the morning... your mind tends to blank sometimes. Sorry. Also I have changed a lot about the season from the point of Fool for Love.

I've gotten a lot of reviews about the warning about a character or characters death. Yes there will be a death or two. Morning a death is something that the show has quite a bit of. You see with the death of Ginni, Angel, Joyce, Buffy, Tara, Anya and Spike. Their deaths were mourned (except for the last two) and through their death certain things happened. I would like to embrace this type of reaction... something around how Giles and Willow reacted... with vengeance in their heart and ready to do anything to make sure their loved ones death has some justification. This is something that I haven't tried before. But there's always some chance that they will come back.

Also any readers of mine that watch the show Mindfreak on A&E, you should email me. Those who know about the show and haven't seen it... watch it. Great show.

Chapter 5- Are we a couple?

Buffy woke up in Spike's arms again. Nothing about this seemed wrong, still Buffy knew that if anyone would find out she would be horrified. She got up slowly, grabbed her clothes, and left without so much as a word to Spike. She walked down the street towards her house, the sun rising in front of her. The streets were quite, vamps had long since turned in and no one was awake yet. Thoughts swirled around in Buffy's head. _Why am I doing this? I know that I don't hate Spike, but sleeping with him. Especial after all I had gone through with Angel. _"Angel!" Buffy said. She had to catch Angel before he left.She ran the rest of the way home, hoping that Angel had stayed at her place. When she reached the house, she walked in and ran right to the basement. Sure enough Angel was down there, sleeping. Buffy walked over to him and shook him until he was awake. "Angel." She said in a soft voice. He sat up and let her sit next to him.

"Buffy." He said. He was upset. He could smell Spike on her.

"I'm sorry." She said. "I loved you once and in some ways I always will. But you showing up here, hoping to warn me of impending danger and that I will somehow be so grateful that I forget how much I hate you, it's not right. Angel every time that you show up, every time that we talk, you say that things will never work out for us. You come around telling me that you love me and then you are just looking out for me, but you still leave just the same. If our destinies aren't meant to cross paths, then stop crossing mine. All that you manage to do when you show up here is piss me, and the people around me, off. It's not right and it's not fair and I can't deal with it anymore. Some things in life are just hard and you just have to deal with that. I had to deal with you leaving, now I think you have to do the same."

Buffy's words stung Angel, not only because they were true and hard to accept but also it was to close to what Willow had said. Somewhere deep inside Angel realized that all this time, ever since he had left her, he had never let himself leave her for good. He always knew that he would come back in a instant if she needed him. And for the littlest things he felt that she needed him. "You're right." He said to her. "But I don't think that Spike is someone you should be with."

Buffy smiled. "It's not your choice." She said, somehow knowing that there was a sense of humor in this whole thing. She knew that Spike and Angel had once shared a connection. And the two now mortal enemies felt something for their real mortal enemy. It was the most bizarre love triangle that existed.

"I wish it was." He said, standing up.

She stood up to, ready to say goodbye to him. "Do you love me?"

"Always will." He said with a smile.

"Then don't come back." She said. It was neither cold nor heartless. If he loved her, he would stop coming back since he now knew what effect it had on her. Angel nodded and Buffy left to her room, leaving the vampire there to wait for the sun to set.

The Bronze-

When the sun had set, when the time had come, Buffy met with Spike at the Bronze. It had been a week since Angel had left, a week since she had seen Spike. Buffy felt bad that she had bolted on the vampire and then avoided him for a week. But she need the time to think, the time to decided what she was going to do about this whole thing. The first time they had slept together, they could blame it on Willow's spell. But the last time, she could not blame that on magick. She could say it was seeing Angel again and that their mutual hate for him had bonded them together. An attempt to say 'Fuck you'. But Buffy had spent a week thinking about it and she had come to a conclusion. She saw Spike sitting at a table in the corner. The same one they had sat at when he told her about the slayers. She sat down in front of him, silently taking him in. He looked different in the dim light of the Bronze. The unnatural light made him seem paler, more dead if that was possible. He sported freshly painted black fingernails and a lip ring. "You got your lip pierced?" She said.

"I pierced it." He said, smiling at her disgusted look. "With a safety pin. Took a while and hurt like a bitch. Looks good though." He said.

"Yeah it does." She said in agreement. "Think you can give me a piercing?" She asked with a sexy smirk on her face and a dangerous look in her eyes.

Spike smiled. "Depends slayer." He said. Then he leaned closer and lowered his voice. "What do you want pierced?"

"I haven't decided yet." She said, pulling away from him and leaning back in her chair. She was getting better at acting less like preppy Buffy and more like laid-back Buffy.

"You've been gone. Didn't see ya when I woke up."

"I left. I had to see..." She was going to say Angel. She didn't want Spike to be upset though.

"Peaches?" Spike said, seeing the hesitation in her eyes. She nodded. "He told me." She looked at him confused. "Told me that ya told to him to high tail it outta this town and never come back."

"Yeah. Pretty much." She said.

"That's my girl." He said, not thinking before saying it. Once it had been said, once he saw the look in her eye, he knew that he had gone to far. It was always like that with Buffy and him. There was a line that they could cross. When they had first met, that line was a canyon, so wide that they were no where near crossing it. But as they got closer, as they had changed the way they felt, as each day that they spent together, the line got thinner and thinner. So easy to mistake that line for a crack, so easy to speak their minds until they had freaked the other out enough to end the day. Spike only hoped that one day they would love each other and that line would disappear all together.

Buffy smiled. "I needed to see you Spike." She said, letting down some of her defenses.

His eyes widen at the total none running away that Buffy was doing. She was actually admitting that she needed to see him. That was one step closer to needing him. "Yeah slayer." He said, leaving on the cool, big bad persona that he always had. "And why would that be?"

"If I knew, I would tell you." She said smiling. It was the most smiling she had done since Angel had left. For a week she had struggled with three things. The first was convincing Willow that she didn't do anything bad with her spell. The second was finding out what big bad it was that Buffy would lose to. And the third was trying hard to figure out her and Spike. At least she had accomplished one.

"Right then slayer. So what's going' on? Ya didn't just get me here cause ya wanted to talk did ya?"

"Actually... yes." She said with a little weaker tone.

"Right then." Spike said. "Well fancy that. The slayer, and me here talkin' about none apocalyptic things. Almost like a date." He said.

"It's not a date Spike." She said fast.

He had crossed a line. Not a big one, but a line. "All right. Not a date. Darn I was goin' tell all my friends that I was datin' a slayer." He said with a laugh.

"They wouldn't believe ya even if ya had friends." She said, a little harsher then she meant.

"Oh yeah." He said, leaning over the table and capturing her lips with him. She kissed him back, but broke away to breath. "Come on slayer." He said, standing up. "Let's dance." She looked at him and was a little bit confused. But she took his hand. Instead of leading her out of the Bronze, he led her to the real dance floor. They were on a date.

Buffy's house-

Buffy ended up bringing Spike home with her after their night of dancing and talking. No one was home so she felt it quite a bit safer. Willow, Tara, and Dawn had all decided to head up to L.A. for a shopping spree. Xander and Anya were at their apartment, Giles had made it quiet clear that he didn't want to be bothered, and Buffy's mom was still at the hospital. Buffy and Spike walked into the empty house. It had an eerie effect on Buffy and she was almost scared. _Maybe it isn't the house... maybe it's the thought of Spike being in my house. _Spike had walked into the living room and had turned on the television. "Mind if I get something more comfy to wear. Leather and me... great for only a few hours."

"Sure." He said, trying his damnedest to be more interested in the TV then in her. Once she had ran up the stairs though, it was a totally different story. _I am in Buffy's house. And it's not cause I'm watchin' Niblet, it's to be with her. _He heard her steps on the first step and turned his attention back to the horror movie.

"What's on?" She asked, bouncing down the steps.

Spike turned to look at her. She was wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and a tight white tank top. She had washed all the make-up off her face but had left her hair down. "You look good slayer." Was all that he said as she made her way over to the couch.

"Thanks." She said, sitting down next to him. "So what's on?"

"Some horror movie." He told her. "Somethin' 'bout a clown."

"It?" She asked, terror in her voice.

"Yeah love. Just a movie."

"No. Clowns freak me out."

Spike out a laugh. "You, the big bad slayer, it afraid of clowns." He said still laughing.

"Don't laugh Spike. I'm serious. Clowns freak me out." She said. She turned to the screen, only for a brief second, in hopes that he had made a mistake and it was a different movie. On the screen flashed a picture of a horrible clown. Buffy screamed and buried her head in Spike's chest.

Spike loved how the slayer felt in his arms. He always had. And here they were in her house, watching a movie like a normal couple would. "It's alright slayer. Clown's gone."

Buffy opened her eyes and looked up at the blonde vampire. "How do I know that you aren't lying?" She said.

"Trust me." He said.

She smiled and looked up at the screen. Spike had turned the channel to A Walk to Remember. Buffy smiled and looked up at him. "Thanks." She said.

"No problem slayer." He said. He leaned down and kissed her lightly on the lips. Then he let her turn around and lay back on him while they watched the rest of the movie.

Buffy's House-

Willow walked into the house with Tara. Dawn had gone to school and Willow was here to check on Buffy. The two girls found Buffy and Spike asleep on the couch. "We should wake them." Willow said.

"Why?" Tara asked.

"She wouldn't want Dawn or her mom to find her with him." Willow said. Tara nodded in agreement and watched as Willow walked over to Buffy. Willow shook Buffy lightly. "Buffy." She said softly.

Buffy opened her eyes slowly to see Willow kneeling down next to her. Spike and she had fallen asleep on the couch. She smiled at Willow and sat up. "Spike." She said, whispering in his ear.

He opened his eyes and saw Red and Tara standing there. "Hey Red." He said. He knew that the two of them had already been told about Spike and Buffy's strange relationship. He sat up next to Buffy.

"We just came over to tell you that we sent Dawn to school and we promised that we would take her to our place after school." Willow told Buffy.

"Did Giles find anything about Angel's cryptic threat?" Buffy asked.

"No." Willow said. "But we are about to head over to the Magic Box and help out."

"All right. I'll be over after I get dressed." Buffy said. Willow and Tara left.

Once they had left, Spike looked at the slayer. "Sorry slayer. Didn't mean to fall asleep here."

"Don't be." She said. She caught a spark in Spike's eyes. She knew it meant a lot to him that she didn't hate him and that she didn't mind him falling asleep in her house. "Why don't you stay here until the sun goes down?" She said.

"All right slayer. Thanks." He said. It meant more to him then she'd ever know that she was letting him stay there.

"I'm going to get dressed then I have to go the Magic Box." She said. He nodded.

The Magic Box-

Buffy sat on the steps of the ladder that lead to all the heavy magic books. She couldn't stop thinking about Spike and how, strangely, she missed him. But she couldn't do anything about it. Willow sat on the step below her. Both girls watched as Xander and Anya looked through books, how Dawn was watching Tara do a magick spell, and how Giles researched far away from the moody girls. "Willow?"

"Yeah Buffy?"

"Let's split. I gotta talk to you."

The graveyard-

"It looks so different in the daylight." Willow said with a smile.

"Yeah." Buffy said.

Willow could tell how distant Buffy was. "Something wrong?" She asked the usually bouncy blonde.

"Willow we were on a date last night. We met at the Bronze, we talked, we danced and then he came over. We watched a movie together." Buffy said in a horrified tone.

"What's wrong with that?" Willow asked.

"It's something that I would do with..."

"A boyfriend? Someone that you cared about." Willow said, finishing the blonde's sentence. Buffy nodded. "There's nothing wrong with caring about him. He obviously loves you."

"But it's Spike. He's evil and soulless..."

"And he has a chip in his head. He can't hurt you." Willow said. She turned to face her best friend. "Buffy, you've had a lot of hard times in your life. Spike makes it his mission that you don't have to go through those alone."

"How do you know so much about him?" Buffy asked her.

"Because... I feel the same way about Tara. She's been through so much that all I want to do is be there for her and make sure that she never has to be alone again. The way I feel about Tara is the same way Spike feels about you. I can see it in his eyes."

"But Willow how can he? He has no soul."

"That doesn't matter and you know that. When you first met Spike, why was he here?"

"To kill me and cure Drucilla."

"Right. Spike loved Drucilla so much that he made a deal with the slayer so that he could have her back from Angelus. Spike has always been able to show love and you know that. You just don't want him..."

"To let me fall in love and then have him leave me. I know why I make excuses Willow. I know that I am afraid of letting myself love him and then having him leave me."

"If he can help it, he wouldn't leave your side." Willow said with a laugh. "You remember how I used to follow Xander around?" Buffy nodded, smiling at the memory of her once geeky best friend. "That's how Spike is with you." Buffy smiled at the red head comparing Spike to herself.

Buffy's house-

Dawn had decided to stay over at Willow and Tara's that night and Buffy had walked home from the Magic Shop as the sun set. She opened the door and hung her jacket up. She smiled a little when she realized that Spike's jacket was hanging next to hers. She lightly touched the sleeve of the jacket. It smelled of booze and cigarettes, and that was some how soothing to her. "Spike?" She yelled.

"Yeah slayer?" Spike said. He was standing at the top of the stairs, leaning against the wall, smoking a cigarette.

"You can't smoke in the house." She said.

He started walking down the stairs. When he got to her, he grabbed her waist and pulled her close to him. "Make me."

Buffy took the cigarette, dropped it on the floor and stepped on it. "Don't push your luck Spike." She broke away from his hold and headed into the kitchen. "What did you do all day? She asked as she opened the fridge and looked around.

"Sat around, watched my usually soaps, snooped around."

"Spike!" Buffy said in a harsh tone as she got a non-fat yogurt out of the fridge. She walked past him and got a spoon, then headed towards the living room. Spike followed. Buffy fell down on the couch and Spike sat on a chair. "You going home tonight?"

"Are you going with me?" He asked her with a daring look in his eyes.

"What is this Spike?" Buffy asked.

Spike looked a little confused. "What do ya mean slayer?"

"What do we have here? Are we sleeping together, are we dating, are we friends? What?"

Spike laughed and walked over to the slayer. He sat down next to her and took her hand. "What do you want us to be love?"

"I don't know." She said, opening her yogurt. She looked at it then sat it down. "I don't think that's good." She said.

Spike stood up and offered her his hand. "Let's go out then."

She stood up and took his hand. He pulled her closed to him and she looked up at him. "You don't eat." She said.

"I don't mind watchin' you eat." Spike said, kissing her gently on the lips. "Come on let's go."

"Two dates in two nights. So we are dating."

Spike stopped at the door but didn't turn to look at her. "No slayer. People who date don't have to hide it from their friends." He turned. "People who date aren't ashamed of who they are with."

Buffy walked over to Spike and grabbed his hand. "I told Willow didn't I?" Spike nodded. "Let me work up to telling the others."

"You don't have to love."

"I want to." She said, smiling. "Come on I'm starving." Spike opened the door and Buffy walked out and Spike followed her out.


End file.
